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Then came the night we got a little carried away and I got her home late. Okay, three hours late. And a little drunk. And her clothes a little mussed. Her mother met us at the door and informed me that her husband was at the police station trying to get me arrested, and she thought I should go there and straighten it out. I arrived at the police station about 3:30 in the morning to find Marilyn's stepdad ranting and raving at a bored looking officer seated at a desk. He was almost foaming at the mouth. He didn't look very impressive even though he had on very expensive looking clothing as he was a pudgy little balding lunatic. As I entered he went ballistic and did foam, incomprehensible in his rage. The police officer stood, put his hand on the stepdad's shoulder and ushered him to the chair, almost pushing him into it. He then came to me asked, “What's your story, I've heard his?” “Look officer, we were out on a date, just having fun, and didn't notice the time. The girl is. Her name was Mary Anne Evans." "I see. Shall we be doing mid-Victoriana dialogue then?" "Fuck no. I'm a hack, not an alchemist. We'll do it in good old twenty-first-century style." "Probably easier." "Definitely easier." "And the occasion of this conversational event?" "Our first meeting, I think. You've called upon the exceedingly famous George Eliot and I've granted you an audience. How's that?" "Fine. Shall I start?" "That would be helpful." "May I say what an honour it is to meet the renowned author of 'Adam Bede', 'Mill on the Floss' and 'Silas Marner'. Thank you for being at home to me this afternoon, Miss Evans." The pleasure is all mine, Mr Lewes, it's not often that I have such a fine specimen of married, Victorian, manhood come calling. How is the state of matrimony treating you?" "Frustratingly, Miss Evans. What with the domed skirts, the hooped crinolines, the chemises, the drawers, the bloomers, the bodices and all that flouncing, tiers, and lace it's a near miracle if I.
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