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It’s been a long and crazy several months, hasn’t it?”“It has. Diana in the meantime, feel free to attend to you and Deb’s stress relief. I can’t take that away from either of you.”We finished our drinks and I drove us home. Deb kissed us good night and went to the guest room. Diana and I showered and cuddled in bed for the first part of our very serious talk.DebMy love, Diana, was knocked up. She and Mick were so in love that he was gushing the emotion in the form of tears. I, on the other hand, was thinking that I had nothing. Paul was gone. He was a piece of shit, but for about 7 years, he was my piece of shit. Now he’s gone and I’m in the care of the two people I have truly loved since junior high school.Let me clarify that, I am in the care of the two people I have been IN love with since junior high. I married Paul so I could stay close to Diana and, to an only slightly lesser extent, Mick. Paul loved Mick like a brother. Diana loved Mick just slightly more than me. I’ve loved. After being changed it is worse, much worse. You see after being changed you stay who you are in your mind. Twenty something years of personal history is very hard to throw away over night. There is no magic to wearing girl's clothes, or to sex, or to hormones. Heck, ask any scientist, hormones may amplify emotions but they do not create them or control them. With time you do adapt to the change, but adaptation does not mean you love it. You keep your old mind but have to act like someone else to survive. It makes the oppression of day to day life much worse. I step off the bus onto my driveway and walk up to my house, I go inside and slip off my dress and read the paper while smoking a cheap cigar. Soon after my wife comes home. She?s uncomfortable with my body, wearing business suits and it shows. She?s in sales, and she?s a good sales person too. It?s a pity she couldn?t handle my management job. The first thing she does when she gets home is slip off the stiff old suit and pants,.
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