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. BDSM at the SM Studio became routine instead of joy and relaxation. Routine made me incautious and when having sex with one of my regular customers, I got pregnant... But for me a c***d must be born out of love, so I didn't want to have that baby! However, abortion went totally wrong and I became infertile :-(I was really depressed about that. Evert-Jan and Lindsay were there for me, to support me, comfort me, but they couldn't help me. I wanted to have a family, like my parents. The dream was gone... At some point I decided to quit the SM Studio period in my life. When I therefore was harassed by frustrated former customers, my limit was reached... One day I made a suicide attempt :-( Again thanks to Evert-Jan and Lindsay their love and care for me, I failed on that one…After I tried to commit suicide, I was hospitalized for over half a year. And not a normal hospital, but the type of hospital where you were tied up and d**gged 24 hours a day... Lindsay and Evert-Jan were shocked. ‘Way out,’ Tom said, returning to work. He figured Gina would be thirty-two. He crowed to the sky, ‘I’m going to fuck an old woman!’ * * * Gina worked at bottling apricots, something she’d done with her maternal grandmother and mother and continued doing it although buying a big can was probably cheaper and eliminated her labor but it just wasn’t the same, not matter if the canned product had been packed when the fruit was beautifully ripe, which wasn’t often. Plums would be her next target and then she’d process berries and freeze sufficient to last them for twelve months. God to think of all the women her age who hadn’t a clue about bottling and never thought of freezing anything they hadn’t purchased from the supermarket. She kept looking at the clock and wondering. This would be adultery and her sister Dianna would kill her if she found out, screaming it was incest. It wasn’t was it? Um no. Gina never wore panties unless in jeans and she was without them now, being in a dress,.
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