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Truisms-R-Us.There’s a very important corollary there. Because if there are 50 ways to leave your lover, there are also 50 ways to love your leaver. The one who is leaving you. Betraying you. Hurting you.Did I mean corollary? Probably not. But, and I quote from the great Lewis Carroll, “When I use a word,” Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, “it means just what I choose it to mean, neither more nor less.” “The question is,” said Alice, “whether you can make words mean so many different things.” “The question is,” said Humpty Dumpty, “which is to be master, that’s all.”How did I find out that my wife, my wife and lover, was considering leaving me? She began the process of inadvertently clueing me in by quietly humming, singing or whistling snatches of 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover at random and often not particularly appropriate moments. All the bleedin’ time. Sometimes even whilst looking at me, but in that special way people have when they are trying not to be obvious. And. She gasped and asked, “Did you do that?”Joey rolled over and cracked his eyes open as I said, “Yes. Now, are you going to behave, or do I have to make the rest of your body go numb?”Brad groaned, rolled over and asked, “Man, what’s going on?”Sandi said angerly, “Nothing Brad. Go back to sleep.”I said, “Your little sister was trying to give me a handjob.”Brad exclaimed, “Sandi!”Sandi said, “I was not! I was getting it hard enough to fuck it.”Brad sat up in shock, and Joey gasped, “Shit.”I let out a frustrated sigh and said, “Brad, I’m going try something to try and take the edge off. Don’t freak out.”Brad exclaimed, “I’m already freaking out!”Joey said, “You’re going to try that thing you did with Suzi and me Wednesday night?”I looked at him in surprise and said, “Yeah. How did you know?”Joey shrugged and said, “Great minds think alike.”I gave him a half-hearted smile before turning to Sandi and asking, “Are you ready?”Sandi asked a little nervously, “For what?”Joey said, “For your.
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