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Uh, you did too." That wasn't me," she said.Now, you have to admit that was kind of a weird thing to say. If she really hadn't been there, she would have said "What are you talking about?" But saying "That wasn't me" meant she knew what I was talking about, which meant-- what, multiple personalities? "I don't get it," I said, cautiously."It wasn't really me," she said. "It was me playing a part. That's the only way I can do things like that for you, Ricky. If I put on an act, then I can make you very, very happy." And looking into her eyes, the frankly horny look in her eyes, I didn't doubt she meant it."Well, why don't we come back to my place right now and we'll both make both of us very happy." I can't do that," she said, sitting back in her chair and taking her hands off my knees, where they'd been resting. "If I'm going to put on an act-- it needs to be for an audience."My head was swimming now. This was exciting, and scary, and deeply fucked up. It sounded like we could do. I fear my words from the prying eyes, and myself even. For my story is as sad as it is monotonous, I can’t bare to think of it myself some days for I have retold the story in my mind a million times over there. A child who’s days of youth were stolen from her. A child who was forced to grow up to early, to see things most never see. To be told not to cry, for that makes you weak, those words alone made her weep even more as a child-woman. To watch with wild eyes those around her loosing precious moments of their lives, to waste them away, to drown their pains, wasting away at a dangerously slow pace. To see those live each day, day after day in shadows of what they know. To tired to change, to change their journey, take the risk on another road. They live what they know, and there I am … the perfect example I see…I live what I know. I woman not unlike most with the hopes and dreams, to find the one person she could connect with, knowing that she was a strong person and that her life.
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