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What if this was a trick? What if he was trying to get me to admit my feelings for him? Colin must have seen me pulling back, because he said, Its alright. Its not a trick. I really do like you. At that point, my feelings for this boy overcame any sense of caution I may have had, and I leaned down and gently kissed him on the mouth. As our lips touched, I felt a strong but pleasant tingling sensation. His lips were warm and moist, and as he eagerly returned the kiss, I wrapped my arms around him and held him close. I was pleasantly surprised when I felt his tongue push into my mouth. As we kissed, I slowly slid my hand down his back and grabbed his ass. His butt was firm, and as I massaged it, I could feel his little cock growing hard and pressing into my leg. He broke off the kiss, looked up at me, and smiled. I ran my hand through his light blond hair and smiled back. He took my hand and led me back downstairs. As we walked, I stared at his perfectly shaped ass, watching it sway. In essence, I became my own subject, epistemology and ontology, the nature of thought and being in my narrow existence. Carol helped me escape my invisibility to the rest of the world, she and her group of friends let me into their clique and she let me into her heart. At the time I was studying Eastern philosophy with my usual thoroughness, drawn as any horny teenager is to the Kama Sutra and Tantric Buddhism and when I was at last no longer a virgin thanks to Carol, everything seemed to click. The first simultaneous orgasm gave me what I thought was an experience as close to enlightenment in the Buddhist sense as I had gotten. I began developing exercises to amplify the experience, bringing those experiments to bed with me and Carol. When I accidentally stumbled into an orgy, the orgasm I experienced blew my mind, and I wanted my mind blown. It also ended my relationship with Carol and her friends who were the participants except for Carol; they felt ashamed I guess and Carol was.
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