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But, in the process of that struggle to accomplish just that, I did grow in strength and confidence. I rolled into him, sliding my leg over his, my hand on his chest, feeling his chest rise slowly in sleep. I stroked lazily up to his strong, developed chest and down to his stomach. That insistence from him, that stubborn insistence, ended up providing me with an even greater gift, the gift of independence of my will, to give and reject as I wanted, to be my own person, selfishly if I chose or loving and giving if I chose.I obviously chose the latter. I was intent now to be the best of the parts that were me. He wanted to know me, to be interacting and engaging the real me, not a pretend me that was only trying to make him happy, anticipate what he wanted, or giving him less of me than I had to offer. He gave me that freedom of will, I was now going to experience it in the life I had left.Free-will meant taking joy and pleasure for myself as well as for others and right now, this. He couldn't wait for Joyce toreturn and 'tuck him in'. What story would she tell him? One of his oldRelate or Madame ones? And when she tucked him in, would she tease himjust a little and let him touch her satin skirt or smooth the seam ofher nylons into place?Deprivation Day. Dependency Day. Each passing day, John wasincreasingly helpless to his fetish and reliant on Joyce's whims. AndJoyce knew it.XXXXXXENCASEMENT DAY. How John longed and loathed for it in equal measure!Joyce had kept her promise to 'tuck him' in last night, returning aftera long day attending to some of her more specialist clients in herlarge house to administer his medicine and loosen his restraints.She had probably changed several times during the day to meet variousneeds and fetishes but when she entered the bedroom she was as alwaysimpeccably attired from head to toe. She preferred black satin pencilskirts at this time of night to emphasise her control, a blouse in deepburgundy satin, black nylons and six inch.
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