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Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them ... You know you always forget to salt them. Use the! Salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!' The wife stared at him. 'What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?' The husband calmly replied, 'I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving.'Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair. On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth. On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.This one is compliments of. I can do it... Elaine was surprised that her pussy wasn't wet. Nothing. Not even warm. Maybe it's mind over matter, she wondered. It was strange, as her nipples were as hard as diamonds. She'd been consumed with the desire to please Gary. She wanted to be good and she'd promised not to play. Now that she was thinking about it, her pussy awoke. Tingles of heat radiated over her sex, shooting down the back of her legs, then back up over her ass and up her spine.Elaine reasoned that it was easier last time, not because the plug was so much smaller, but because she'd distracted herself by playing with her clit. As if it agreed entirely, her clit pulsed, shooting out more tingles of pleasure. It'll be all right, she assured herself, reaching between her legs with her licked index finger. Gary would understand.It's only to make it easier."Mmmmmm," Elaine groaned as she manipulated the bud in small, liquid circles. Positioning the butt plug again and gritting her teeth, she decided it was.
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