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It wouldn’t be real. You tell me over and over that you love me, with words and gestures and sometimes even silence, but the reason I know it’s true is that you can hurt me and I still love you just as much as I did before. Sometimes even more.”To Luke, it seemed that the myriad and impenetrable grays of his horizon were inexorably darkening. If there’s been a theme running through the entirety of our relationship, that’s it right there. That love means I can hurt her. That I am hurting her by the very act of loving her. Wendy tried and failed to make me hear the words, and it took me a truly unfortunate amount of time to understand what they mean. But even after everything that’s happened, I still don’t know what to do with that knowledge. Am I supposed to keep on hurting her, or am I supposed to find a way to stop? I know I can’t stop loving her, and I guess that means I’ll never stop hurting her in all the ways she’s explained that I am, but I don’t see how I can keep on doing. He only wants to have sex about every three or four months. And he tells her that he likes to please her sexually, but it really gets him uptight, so he'd rather help her masturbate.For years, she's tried to figure out what's wrong with her. Maybe, she thought, she was too fat, so she lost weight. She started to wear make-up, and dress differently. To arouse him, she tried reading him erotic books, using sexual toys, or watching movies. All to no avail. She's worked herself silly trying to be what she thought he needed and wanted.Every time she asks him what she can do to change, he tells her that it is him, not her. Everyday, he grabs her tits, then walks away, and a little part of her soul withers and dies. She tells him time and time again what she needs from him. Whether he doesn't care, isn't interested, or isn't capable of giving it, he does nothing for her. She feels lonely, neglected, used and abused. Why doesn't he want her? What has she done? If he loves her like he says,.
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