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We saw her disappear under the canopy of shade but not before we heard her shout “Woooohoooo! Hurry up slow pokes!” We laughed and continued in our leisurely pace. As we neared the top the gazebo became more into view. It was nicely built of cedar and fit perfectly in the landscape of the vineyard. Vines were trellising up and around the structure forming a beautiful canopy. But that is not what made us both stop in awe…. Amy, youthful and girlish, was sitting there on a bench with her dress pulled up around her waist with not a stitch on underneath! She had one hand working on her very wet and glistening pussy and one hand pinching her nipple. She was breathing very heavily and her eyes….her eyes were locked on us with feverish intensity. I think you and I stopped breathing and simply stood there staring. Amy, meanwhile, simply continued playing with herself, her fingers plunging in and out of her. I am not sure who let go of whose hand first, you or me, but you were the first to. My soul is charred with tainted thoughts — constantly I find it wasting away into nothingness, therefore securing the personality of a less than human creature. I find myself screaming on the inside, unable to break free of my pain. I wear a mask of contentment that grows weaker; my smile however happy it may appear is a charade- a fake twitch of the muscles for my audience. I feel angry, I feel unworthy, I feel caged and I feel empty. These emotions make me want to break free — to leave this life in search of another for nothing I or anyone else does makes me feel truly happy and conflict free. To fill the gap I harbour in my soul seems pointless — neither family member nor any person on this earth can change the way I am. Death seems to be my only solution- my only escape and yet fate has not allowed me to leave this place and, I haven't the courage to do so myself. Invisibility would be a gift and yet the only thing I wish for lies within the bounds of impossibility.I want to.
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