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Madison said she liked the taste of wine and had been encouraged to drink at times by her parents from the age of ten. I don’t think her parents would think that two bottles of beer would be sensible, but they weren't here anyway.While we talked, I told her that I’d thought she looked very pretty from the pictures I saw on the walls throughout the house, as this seemed to please her. I placed my hand on her bare leg, as I moved in and kissed her gently. She surprised me by returning the kiss very passionately. I imagined the beer was having an effect on her.After talking and drinking the remaining bottles of beer in the fridge while listening to music from my work radio for another hour, I told her I had to lay down for a bit, as I was somewhat buzzed now. Madison grabbed my hand and showed me to her bedroom upstairs. I sat on the edge of her bed as she went to the bathroom. I didn’t know what to make of all this, so with a little anticipation I got undressed and got into her bed.A. I haven't gotten over my last break up yet - sad, I know - and it's just making me feel like I'm the most worthless person on the planet. I keep playing through what I did or where I went wrong but I keep coming blank then swap into these horrible bouts of self-loathing for not doing better at whatever the fuck was wrong. I keep thinking of him too. What he might be doing right now and constantly wondering if he is thinking of me at all. If he even cares about me to begin with? Etc, etc, etc. Insert standard sadness shit here, blah... As you know, I struggle with trying to distract myself with other tasks or activities that might help take my mind off how unworthy I feel - and how much wine I've consumed in recent months - but nothing is helping. I can't even find someone who is willing to hold me for longer than a few hours, without it being in between meaningless sex. Hell, at this point, even a friend would be nice. Someone I can just talk to who would be willing to listen and.
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