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We were hardly out of the car when mum asked: "So you're giving it all up?" What?" You worked at the law for three years and you're going to just throw it away!" I'm not sure I agree with you." I took a deep breath. "These [the flowers] are for you." Thank you. But you're not getting off that easily." Well, mum, let's go inside and sit down so I can find out what I've done, OK?"Rachel had remained silent, as had my dad, who was standing behind mum. We all trooped inside and Rachel walked over to a wall and looked at the Williams. I think it's the only thing she covets."Wine?" dad asked."Please," I responded, sitting on the divan. Mum disappeared, returning with a bottle and four glasses."May I try to elicit what your mother failed at?" Certainly. We're both considering what we want to do next." Both?..." gasped mum."Yes," I continued, "Both. Rachel's choices are all academic: whether to do honours, to earn a certificate or another degree, or to enrol in a doctoral programme. Mine are. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat and place elastic band on cupboard door.Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Throw Tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.Ring fire department to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way.
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