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”“Guys, this is Simon. He was Sam’s best friend,” I said as I turned. Simon kept his hand on my shoulder. Mark glanced at it and frowned for a second.“Simon, this is my brother, Joe, and his best friend Mark. And this is my friend Bethany.” She blinked when I didn’t call her my best friend, but I didn’t care, despite all of us spending the weekend together.Nothing felt the same. All the things that had seemed so important a week ago were laughable now. Homework? A school dance? Sophie and Dan? Mark and Lydia? It barely seemed real compared to what I was going through. My eyes were open to how hollow and fake everything was.While Simon accepted their condolences with a nod, I kept my mouth shut. There was no point in disrupting the social circus going on. All we needed were some clowns, I thought, except clowns were fake, too. Just creepy old carnies with painted faces. My foul mood was spilling out all over.Bethany gave me a quick hug and headed toward the bathroom with her hand over. "We're LanceCorporals now!"So they have their drink, and pretty soon one of the Army lassies comes up to Mick."You're cute," she says, "and I'd like to date you, but I've got a bad case of gonorrhoea."Mick pulls his friend to the side and whispers, "Paddy, go look in the dictionary and see what Gonorrhoea means. If it's okay, give me the okay sign."So Paddy goes to look it up, comes back, and gives Mick the big Thumbs Up.Three weeks later Mick is laid up in the infirmary with a terrible case of gonorrhoea. Mick says to Paddy, "Why the hell did you give me the thumbs up?" Well Mick, in the dictionary, it say gonorrhoea affects only the privates & we're Lance Corporals now!"These are compliments of JimDISNEYLANDTwo blondes were going to Disneyland. They were driving on the Interstate when they saw the sign that said Disneyland LEFT. They started crying and turned around and went home.FLORIDA OR MOONTwo blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to.
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