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As it happens, the English have been making sausages way longer than the Germans, and as anyone who knows me will tell you, I love sausages. (I know what you're thinking and if you so much as fucking smirk, I swear I'm going reach out and slap the shit out of you.)Right, so I was dithering between the Toad in the Hole and the Bubble and Squeak when I was greeted by a curvaceous woman in a bright red 'Mrs Santa' outfit. She was a round woman, Rubenesqu even, as a friend would later say. I didn't know about that. I thought a Ruben was a sandwich, but what the hell. I prefer a woman who can appreciate a good hoagie anyway. Specks of red and green were sprinkled from her rosy cheeks all the way down over her very impressive breasts. She looked like a glitter-bomb had exploded over her.I just sat there, mesmerized by the plastic stardust covering her tits. Every time she moved, her wonderful mounds jiggled, causing the glitter to sparkle under the ancient, yellow lights. I couldn't take. You're going to have to remain like that." I sat back feeling somewhat stunned, already having feared as much. But to have it confirmed by someone else, that I would spend the rest of my life like this... To spend the rest of my life as a woman. That was definitely going to take some getting used to, and I didn't know if I would be able to. I just didn't know. Mom came over and gave me a hug, trying to make me feel better while Dad just took hold of my hand and repeated that he was sorry. For the longest time I sat in the living room by myself. Both of my parents had left the room to give me space to think. To give me some privacy while I tried to come to some sort of terms with what had happened to me. I couldn't believe it. How would I live like this? What could I do? Going back to school and finishing my degree was certainly out of the question. I felt strange too, though not as much as I would have thought. In a way, I felt sort of normal. I still had two legs, two arms and a.
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