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I’d never really thought hard about the idea before. I guess I always felt an undercurrent of certainty that I would not make a very good father. My own parents were such a mess by the end, and I feel like I share their stumbling ways more than my grandfather’s calm and timeless wisdom. I just always thought I had to wait until I had my shit together, and that if that never happened then it was okay to not father a child. Now I’m wondering if that was a mistake. How could it be, though, if I had no one to start my family with? It’s getting late when a knock on the door pulls me out of my meditation. It’s Jasmine, and she has McDonalds. ‘I was worried that you might not have eaten,’ she says. ‘I haven’t,’ I admit. ‘Thank you.’ She looks up at me, sad empathy in her eyes, and she looks beautiful. She’s changed clothes, donning that peasant skirt that looks so nice on her, and has only the lightest touch of make-up on. ‘Can I come in?’ she asks. Jacob Currie. Currie. ‘Yes.’ We sit. I'll see what I can do. I'll ask around, see if anyone knows where these two animals are now. Don't get your hopes up though, I'm not even sure if these are the same two. I don't remember their names but Dave and Phil doesn't ring any bells. But then they could have used false names of course." Alan finished his breakfast and by the time Lena came down twenty minutes later, he'd gone.Lena was blissfully unaware that I'd just broken my vows to her so soon after making them. Luckily, I was able to scoot in to the shower before she decided that she wanted to go down on me. I needed to douche out Alan's semen that even as I sat pouring her coffee, was dribbling out of my fanny. With us both showered and changed, we set about making plans for our 'Honeymoon' We decided on days out in the countryside, perhaps a few days at a hotel in the Cotswolds, we thought we'd play it by ear, see what sort of packages we could book on the net. Meanwhile, unknown to Lena and I, Alan was doing a fair.
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