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No, it is not my grief that I am talking about. Everyone I love has been affected by grieving, my husband, Todd, most of all. That is what happens when a young life is taken, although, death always comes too soon. I could have followed my friends and family members out of grief’s prison. Years ago, they accepted parole one-by-one when the return of happiness unbolted their cell doors. I chose to remain behind in my cell next to Todd’s even though my acceptance of our loss had dissolved all the imaginary iron bars. Todd refuses to believe that his confinement has been self-imposed all these years even though I’ve tried to explain it differently. There are times when reason just cannot convince the mind to release the grip of painful emotions. I have tried to live in peace with this. But, this is not the place to go into such details, because I suspect you know all of this. It is just that Todd and I are both getting older, and I do not want to allow grief to rob us of any more. Brittany, of course naked and leashed, knelt quite self-consciously on a grass mat by my side."Welcome," I gestured with my hand ceremoniously. I gave the newcomer a big warm smile. "Sit" I motioned to a mat next to her sister. "Please sit and be welcome Kimberly" Hey Kimberly" Brittany said and made a little wave. She was blushing.Kimberly smiled crookedly. She seemed to be trying to convey a sense of normalcy. She turned and then demurely lowered herself to the mat tucking her skirt about her folded legs.Brittany arose at my signal and busied herself with helping Jennifer to serve. Dinner tonight was tender shark steaks with strips of fruit, berries and a cooked tuber-like root. After serving the adults the two teens knelt in the sand beside me. I would reach over and feed the girls pieces of food from my plate. This means of serving had been hotly discussed earlier. The girls had envisioned some type of communal Hawaiian luau. I had ultimately vetoed that idea. The matter was.
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