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I am a heavy equipment operator and there isn't much in the way of light duty for you when you are on crutches. Since I was unable to work my wife Diane, who had been working part time, went to work full time and I became a househusband. I cleaned the house, did the laundry, cooked the meals (and yes, I watched the soap operas) and in general did what good little house wives do. One day, about a month after Diane had gone to work full time, I was in the laundry room sorting the clothes and getting ready to wash them when I noticed the white crust on the crotch band of a pair of Diane's black lace panties. Until then I had managed to go through eight years of marriage without ever once being suspicious of Diane or harboring doubts about her fidelity. As soon as I saw those panties I knew what I was looking at. I knew what it was and I knew it wasn't mine. My suspiciousions aroused I began checking the laundry every morning after Diane left for work and after a couple of weeks a. I give her what I hope is enough space for her to solidify her thoughts then I interrupt, "Liz, a penny for you thoughts and a ten for your body!"Liz snaps out of her mental state, looks at me and demands, "What the hell? My body is only worth ten measly dollars?"I grin at her and taunt, "Well, you are an old, almost married, pregnant woman..."I knew that would 'get her goat'. She counters, "Old my ass! If I'm old you're antiquated and ... and ... and ... It's your fucking fault that I'm pregnant and not only that, it's your fault we're not married!"I begin to laugh and say, "Liz, don't get all worked up, I just wanted to know what you were thinking about so intensely."Liz bites her lower lip and answers...Damn it! I was too quiet and Bernie figured out I was thinking of something serious. I hesitate to tell him by waffling, "Bernie, if I tell you you're going to hate me."Bernie reaches over, takes my hand and says, "Liz, are you fucking crazy? You can't say or do anything that would.
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