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I was hungry, I thought – or, at least, I knew I should be hungry – so I ought to cook. I also ought to look at some of the mail that had accumulated while I'd been away – I'd been genuinely too tired to do anything with it earlier in the week – and begin to get things sorted so that I could sell the place. Instead, I sat on the floor and felt sorry for myself. Sorry for Phil, too, sorry for all the things that might have been ... but mainly sorry for me. Not what all those helpful books on managing the grieving process would recommend, I'm sure, but that was what I did. Frankly, I wallowed. At least for a while.Then I pulled myself together a bit – I could imagine how a lot of my friends and colleagues would react to seeing me this way and the thought at least sufficed to get me up on my feet. Once vertical, however, I still couldn't really get myself interested in doing anything even marginally productive, so I sort of slumped against the wall for a while. I realised that I needed. At least they hadn’t reported we had sex on the hood of my car! All the women wanted to know what Jack was like and several of the guys hit on me as well. I just rolled my eyes and tried to ignore it all. Friday was normal.Mom and Dad were in Los Angeles that weekend, visiting Jerry Varrel. It seemed as if Jerry’s proposal might work out. Anyway, I was on my own, so I spent most of Saturday getting ready for my date. Jack was picking me up around seven or so, then we’d go out for dinner and a movie. I wanted to look good, but not too good. Saturday night at the movies dressy but not evening gown dressy. I ended up rooting through Mom’s stuff and found a black leather miniskirt that she hardly ever wore any more. That, a red sequined tank top with a built-in bra, stockings, and heels. No panties. I thought I looked pretty good in it, and when Jack put his hand under my skirt, it would be a very pleasant surprise for him. I spent the afternoon lounging in the bathtub, shaving.
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