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• Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.• I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.• Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?• When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.• I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.• I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.• Velcro - what a rip off!• Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last.HOW MOSES GOT THE 10 COMMANDMENTSGod went to the Arabs and said, ‘I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better.’The Arabs asked, ‘What are Commandments?’The Lord said, ‘They are rules for living.’‘Can you give us an example?’‘Thou shall not kill.’‘Not kill? We’re not interested... ‘So He went to the Blacks,The Blacks wanted an example, and the Lord said, ‘Honour thy Father and Mother.’‘Father? We don’t know who our fathers are. We’re not interested.’He went to the Mexicans, The Mexicans wanted an example - the Lord said ‘Thou shall not. The plexi divider was bulletproof, but the impact created a spider pattern that spread with every burst. I reached up and threw the latch on the door. It sprung open and was immediately hit from the side by dozens of rounds, piercing the thin metal of the door and shattering the window. The roar was deafening, but I wasn’t paying attention. It was all going to come back to me in the form of a long, loud ringing somewhere, sometime I could afford to stop panicing. But for the moment, I had to figure a way to get out of the firing range. I was on the floor of the cab, with the blood of the driver oozing under the front seat over my pant legs and shoes, the smell of burning plastic and blood and bile…whatever else was in the abbatoir of the front seat. There wasn’t a pause to reload – a constant stream of one machine gun began pulverising the cab from front back. The bulletproof glass finally buckled and slivers of it rained down on me as the rest of it folded and cracked, the rear.
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