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" But perhaps most impressive of all, some of the answers you gave for theethics questions and interviews. You really are a thoughtful andcompassionate young man." Not only are you strong, intelligent and resourceful, and with greatinner strength; but you are very caring and thoughtful towards otherpeople."Again I smiled sheepishly."... which is why the panel unanimously agrees: you will make anexcellent woman." What?" I said. I paused for a few seconds and tears began to well up "Awoman?" But of course." said the woman next to him. "Your scores for compassionand empathy are almost off the charts. You're exactly the sort of personsociety wants as a woman and as a mother." But..." I can understand your disappointment, Mark," said the man in the centreagain. "But the results are clear." But... I performed well in everything, you said." That's right, Mark. But you performed better in some than others. Youexcel in the feminine qualities." Why is compassion a feminine quality?" I asked in. It seemed Timmy was now Yvette de Gilbert. What kind of a namewas Yvette, anyway? He saw papers on the desk and started reading them.My God! It was the story of Covington and his misery! How in God's namehad this woman known all the dirty secrets of the town? He found outthat the Grumps were secretly brother and sister and that Cindy reallywas originally Burt who had a sex change operation and that Hank wasreally gay and that the town's Mayor was really an a member of a secretCanadian organization dedicated to absorbing the US!Timmy's head swam and he almost fainted! He kept reading and checkingthe desk. Timmy wasn't stupid, and though it was impossible he came tothe conclusion that Covington was a fictional by product of thiswoman's brain - or at least she had control of his Universe and thatthis bitch Yvette was responsible for all his misery! She had killedmom and dad and Uncle and Aunt Marge! What an unholy monster. True, shedidn't think they were real - but still, Timmy hated.
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